blog #19

here i am again. im slowly deleting myself and my memories. hotmail, youtube, vf, mypace. all of it. i dont like that im online everywhere. so im taking myself off some sites. not very successfully, it has to be said. im only deleting stuff i dont need, rather than large portions of my soul, which is maybe what i should do. but id like to back up most of it first so i still have access to the memories if i want it. hmmmm, a dilemma.

ive spent today trying to fix the internet however, as the wireless box froze. i havent done any work. i wanted to go home but decided not to cos i had (have) so much work to do, but i havent done any yet. so in order to justify not going home, i have to get some work done. or i will feel rubbish. ive spent all of today sleeping and washing my clothes and bedding. and tidying. and doing general chores in my room. im not done yet, however. i shall not be happy until i have thrown out at least a third of my stuff. im on a bag so far. and not the bin-liner sized bag. a large shopping/carrier bag. or i at least want to file/organise my stuff to the extent of it looking like i have a third less than when i started. which shouldnt be too hard, cos i have a lot of piles of stuff everywhere. so if i find better places to put that stuff, i'll have an illusion created where it looks like i dont own anything.

but anyway, i have also spent today downloading tegan and sara stuff. namely the con demos and various music videos. and i stopped posting on their message boards when one of the mods was horrible to me cos they took something i said out of context and with the wrong meaning. moany mood. played guitar also, which was fun. didnt sing loudly though cos there were people sat in nexts doors garden and i didnt want them to hear and judge me.

but now, i would like to eat something, and then watch casualty, and continue my room clear quest. which i feel that i should do.
my room at the moment (tidy version to come, no doubt)




also:



thankyou..

blog #18

so here i am again. on this site. writing. i deleted a load of stuff like old diary entries from another site today, and it feels good. good to get rid of the old memories that i dont need anymore. but thats not what im here to say. no. i have a number of things that have happened since number 17. the first is that i went home for the weekend and got covered in snot. my little sister had a cold, and i did a fair amount of childcare. which involved being in the firing line of snot. but its ok. im getting over it. slowly. then when i came home i went to see my girlfriend and walked back from hers at about 1.30am and saw a badger. i heard the clicking of its claws on the pavement and there it was, running along. i guess it should have known i was there cos i was moving, but it didnt speed up, it just padded along and around the corner. it was quite amazing.

then on monday i went on a field trip. the whole group went on a coach to an outdoor park place and looked at the landscape and the stuff there. there was an adventure playground and that was fun. the first one/thing to climb was really scary but then it was really good fun. it was like being a child again, but with a better ability to climb.



then we went to bournville to look at the social housing and street trees and the lack of litter. which was not as fun as the adventure playground place, but the guy showing us around bournville was really witty and nice so that made it more interesting.


we then went into the centre of birmingham and were taken to a selection of public spaces within the city centre and we had to draw plans of the area, just from what we could see. which was hard. trying to imagine something as a bird would see it when youre stood on the ground is more difficult than a sketch, even if it requires less detail. i also saw a street named oozells street and was highly amused by this and so decided that i simply must take a photo.



then we went home. the coach ride home was nice. the one on the way wasnt cos i felt a little isolated, sat by myself. but more chatting and happiness happened on the way back.

then i met the girlfriend and walked back to hers. and in the morning i booked a hair appointment for 2 and had it cut. short. so now i have very short hair and its colder. but i really like it. i get the impression that its not that popular amongst my friends, cos they keep asking me if i like it, which means 'i hate it but if you like it then its fine'. but i do. a lot. though i will like it more when its grown out a bit. cos it is very short.

then i went out on tuesday night to a coffee place where i was given free coffee and a free bit of cake, and then lost quite nicely at chess and guess who. but thats ok with me. i knew i would lose at chess, and guess who isnt to do with skill in any way at all. then i went to a bar and lost spectacularly at pool. me and the girlfriend teamed up against 2 others and lost damn well. we kept missing the balls! though it was cos the table was so big. that makes it hard.



and today ive been to a gig. i had to work at it, cos i work for a record label and in return for free entry to the gig for me +1 i had to hand out stickers and collect emails. but the stickers weren't delivered cos royal mail are shit sometimes, so i had to collect emails with no 'ill give you this if you give me an email address'. i took some badges i had from way back and tried to ive them out in return, but they werent for against me! which was who the gig was. so i dont think people were very impressed. at least they wont be tomorrow. the support acts were good. the steal and kill casino. the steal were all dressed as animals, and i liked kill casino before this gig and told the drummer afterwards that i really liked his band and that he was awesome and he gave me a load of badges and told me to add them on myspace and get in touch.
i went to the gig with 2 of my housemates, and they are the type of people who, even though they like the band, they stand still and just jig in time. which i did do for a bit. but i needed the loo half way through. so i left to go to teh bog and when i came back, i went to the other side of the room and wormed my way into the mosh pit to do some proper appreciation. it was so sweaty and hot and fab. i enjoy gigs much better if i can jump around and shout along to the songs. and my god i did. its a wonder ive still got my voice.

the steal
kill casino
against me!

but yes, thats it i believe. quite a lot, and at the time of writing this ive not added the pics into what ive written to illustrate it, so itll be even longer by the time ive done that. but i had a lot to say. and now i think im going to go to bed, cos im real knackered. and i have an 11am start tomorrow. and even though its only 12.30am, i have a lot of sleep to catch up on.

blog #17

so here i am again. im in a typing mood and just wrote the longest email ive written for a while cos i just am in the mood for a natter of the virtual sort. and im sat at my desk feeling all worky and shit. i handed in the model and work today so maybe thats why i feel all enthusiastic about doing something that isnt work. and i finished my model, which i said i would be doing around this time a couple of entries ago. and there is a photo of it shown in this entry, cos thats how proud i am of it.

i feel like as well as being in the mood for typing, im in the mood for ice cream. i think i have a serious ice cream addiction. i bought some gin and lemon ice cream the other day and ive eaten it already. i finished it when i got back this evening, and ive also just had an ice lolly. i havent actually eaten today so thats why im so hungry, but hungry for ice cream is a cold state to be in. thirsty now also. its all the ice cream.

i sent off my swap parcel for new york on monday and i remembered that i cant remember what i put in it, but it should be arriving soon, so i hope its exciting, whatever i included. chocolate, posters, goodies, postcards, keyring, pencil etc.
i would have been pleased to receive it. so thats all ok then i guess. but anyway, i feel as though i have lost my writing/typing enthusiasm, as i do actually have a very small bit of work to do before tomorrow, so i should be logging off.. but here is a picture of something amusing, as well as the picture of my creational genius. coming soon will also be a slide show of everyone elses model in my class. just so i can share with the internet, my genuinely justified feelings of inadequacy when faced with everyone elses work. farewell.

blog #16

i havent got any further on my work since i wrote the last post but i doubt that anyone reads my blog enough to care that im writing another one. my thought pattern is all over the place and as a result i want to separate myself from the rest of the world and from everyone i know and so im sat in my room, writing this. today has been like that. i feel like ive been talking about stupid stuff to people who dont give a shit about what ive got to say even if its not stupid by my standards. but then i think thats just me. im a little odd, especially when my thought pattern doesnt seem coherent. well, my thinking is coherent but rushed. and i dont say everything i think of, so i say unlinked stuff, and then i appear odd! but oh well. that cant be helped. i need to just deal with stuff now and get my work done, and then i can relax for a while. 4 days of throwing away my stuff. sounds like my idea of heaven.

im DJing tomorrow at a club night at my uni too, so i have to sort out the music for that, and all that blah blah blah... my hair has got really long and im getting it cut soon cos i cant stand it. so i have decided to be a little more adventurous with it tomorrow. so i borrowed someones hair straighteners who i live with and have played around to the point where it resembles shane from the l word. which is fine with me, but a little silly, cos everyone wants to look like her. i was told i looked like her before i'd even heard of the l word. i thought people were mad. but now i realise its a compliment.

but yes, now i am talking incoherent disjointed non sense. and should go to sleep. my hot water bottle will go tepid if i dont. and i have to remember to go pay some cheques in tomorrow too or bad things will happen...

the picture above is of how i would like my hair to be, if i could choose anyones to have.

blog #15

blog number 15 already. the first in april, if im as right with dates as i think i am. the whole 3 weeks holiday has just merged into one solid block of stuff, so i cant remember what im doing or what ive done. but now im back i sheffield and able to deal with uni coming back. at least i will be when ive tidied up my room, and unpacked and stuff, and when i have bought some soya milk, cos until i do, i cant drink tea. which makes me sad. cos i like tea. so im on coffee until then.

i have work to be doing, but its of the model variety, so doing the work is not a chore, as i enjoy making models. i didnt have a tv as a child. only cardboard and sellotape, so im quite good at making 3D stuff out of card!
problem is, its ten past 4 already and i havent started working yet. or tidying yet. or doing anything yet. and i still have the headache from not taking my meds soon early enough this morning. but now, i shall do what i have to do- tidy up everything so i can work. then i will work into the evening with the help of a cup of caffeine. might have a shower first.

but here is a photo of my model so far, as it is sat in the corner of my room, and i will post a picture of it when i have finished it (it has to be handed in on wednesday at 4pm).